Is your spouse your best Friend?

These two inspired me to write about friendship. They met while they were both dating other people, but they developed a relationship and later on, fell in love. Kyle even wears a bracelet from Nikki that can only be taken off when he proposes. How freakin cute is that!? 

Some couples meet and before they even start dating, they click in every way possible. They have lots of the same interests and hobbies, the same sense of humor, the same taste in movies, like the same food…etc. To be honest, I sometimes get jealous of these kinds of couples because it seems like their relationship is so easy! But let’s not be fooled or fall into the dark pit of comparisons. All relationships have their ups and downs, best friends or not. We can agree, that friendship is the base of any successful happy relationship, and that’s why I’m giving you tips to become better friends with your spouse/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend/whoever you have in your life.

I want to compare two types of couples. 1. The couple who meets and gets to know each-other really well in a non-sexual way. They develop a friendship, they learn a lot about each other, they tell each other secrets, and feelings develop over time as their personalities shine. They break through walls together and connect in ways that all couples dream about. Perhaps they even become more physically attractive to their partner as time goes on. These feelings eventually turn into love, and they have a deep beautiful love and admiration for each other. 2. Couple #2 meets and right away they are like “wow let’s take off our clothes.” They are attracted to each other, are drawn to specific traits that the person has, and have strong feelings from the get go. This is also a beautiful thing. It is a rush of excitement and passion, but it can be difficult to really develop a friendship because of all the emotions. They get to know each other as best they can, but some of their judgement is clouded. Then as reality sets in, they realize there are walls up, (walls you didn’t even know existed) and there is much more to learn. This is not necessarily a bad thing! It just means you develop your friendship at a different time. Both couples can still end up at the same place.

If you are couple #1, you already have a wonderful base for a great life together. You know what annoys the other person, you know what they cherish, you know them better than anyone. You know them so well because you have been friends all throughout your relationship and you put in the time and work it took to crack through their shell. But, chances are you need to spice things up a bit. Since you do have a lot of common interests, it may not be your first inclination to try things “out of your comfort zone.” My advice for you would be: Try Novel things! Couples who try things for the first time see new sides of their partner. You will get that thrill that you had when you first met. If you have similar personalities (which I’m guessing you do) find thigs that make you both just a little uncomfortable. Here’s a few ideas…

*Rock climbing

*Dress up and go on picnic (cook all the food together)

*Take a dancing class

*Go on a weekend road trip

*Watch a critically acclaimed tear jerker

Keep your friendship & your fire burning by doing new things and seeing new sides of each other. Your passion will grow and you will be best friends AND best lovers.

For couple #2. You had a lot of passion in the beginning of your relationship, and before you could really develop that amazing friendship, things started to get complicated. You quickly realized a serious relationship is more than just physical. Without having that initial foundation at the start, you may find it hard to overcome differences and disagreements. If you are this couple, you get to have some fun. Take your relationship back to the beginning and get to know each other all over again. EXPLORE. What I mean by this is exploring your partners personality and being.  Get to know them in every way. The physical stuff will remain (or if it has diminished, it will return with force) as long as you continue learning and exploring. Here are a few ideas.

*Ask questions about likes/dislikes (food, bedroom etiquette, movies, activities)

*Tell stories about your childhood/teenage years

*Be vulnerable together more often (Lay in bed and just talk)

*Accept who your partner is and love them anyway

*Tell each other your deepest darkest secrets

This attitude of “learning” will allow you to be more open with your partner. You are already attracted to their body…now it’s time to be attracted to their personality. Well guys! Here’s a secret: Matt and I are couple #2! It is so exciting to have the motivation to learn all you can about the person you love. I promise your love will grow if you "learn" instead of "judge." 

Comment below what couple you are! Or...are you a third that I didn't mention?

Photo Shoot Details...

Location: San Clemente

Models: https://www.instagram.com/slightly.social/ And https://www.instagram.com/kykywright95/

Dress: https://www.instagram.com/monamiebridalsalon/

Flowers: https://www.instagram.com/batcountrydesign/

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