How to build Trust + Commitment in your relationship
I am so excited to talk to you guys about trust and commitment. These are two of the most important aspects of a successful relationship and we are going to dive right in!
Let’s start with TRUST. Trust is the basis of a healthy
friendship, and you know how I feel about being friends with your partner….DO
IT. Create a long-lasting, deep friendship that will stand through the tests of
time. (that’s how I feel if you didn’t know) haha.
The best way to build trust in your relationship is to
LISTEN to your partner. Not just in everyday conversations, but especially in
times of conflict. Listen to your partner’s negative emotions without
getting defensive. This shows your partner that you care about
their feelings and that it’s not always about you.
As you know, trust is not enough for a happy successful relationship.
There needs to be one more thing…COMMITMENT. Commit deeply to your partner in every
way possible. Physically and emotionally. We all know the difference between a
physical and emotional connection, and together, they create powerful love. This
kind of commitment builds upon the trust you and your partner have, and it increases
safety. When you are committed to your partner you are saying. “I am
invested 100 percent in this journey with you.” You are saying, “No one
compares to you. You have it all.”
Couples who are lacking this commitment often let their
minds dwell on other people. When times get rocky, they think they could do
better, and they are constantly making negative comparisons. They dwell on what
is missing from their partner, instead of being grateful for their good
qualities, and they give themselves permission to cross boundaries. One of the
biggest signs of this behavior is conflict avoidance. Like I mentioned
earlier, when things get rocky in the relationship, the couple should turn
towards each other and figure out a solution together. You should say, “honey,
we haven’t had any alone time in months. I really miss you and we need to fix
it.” This is a healthy way to address the conflict.
However, when there is conflict avoidance, a partner will
think to themselves, “I can’t tell my husband/wife how I am feeling because
they will get mad and that will just make things worse.” So, they seek comfort
from another person. This is very dangerous and can lead to affairs. Couples
can be living together, sleep in the same bed, even have children, and still
not have this kind of commitment. They can be enmeshed in every physical way,
but when they get together to talk, they discuss schedules, and who’s going to
do what, when.
If you feel like you or someone you know is heading down
this path of negative comparisons, there’s a simple solution. Start thinking
positively about your partner’s character. For every negative thought, there’s
a positive one. You may even want to set a reminder on your phone that tells
you it’s time to think positive things about your partner. Replace the bad with
the good and remember why you fell in love with your person in the first place.
Was it their confidence? Intelligence? Was it their kind heart? Whatever it
was, it is still there. There are amazing qualities within your partner and
more to discover, so start there and decide to commit 100% to the person you
chose.
Photoshoot: This was by far one of my favorite shoots ever! I'm so in love with the tones and colors of the location and model combined. They feel so etherial and whimsical and Matt & I fell in love with Jacqueline and her husband. They are singers/songwriters and I felt cool just being in their presence.
Location: Palomar mountain (again lol. I can't get enough of it)
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