Me, Matt and the woods....Personality differences

Guys! I'm so excited to talk to you again this week. I had a lot of fun writing my blog post last week about communication between partners, so this week, I am going to talk about personality differences. This is an important one for me because Matt and I are night and day different! (hmmm...that would have been a good name for this post.) 

 Anyway...when we first started dating, the things I loved most about Matt were all the ways he was different from me. He was adventurous, confident, always cracking jokes, and energetic ALL THE TIME. I would definitely classify him as an extrovert. Me on the other hand, am mellow, I get embarrassed really easily, am constantly being productive, overly emotional, am a bit quieter, and I enjoy being at home as much as I enjoy being outside. 

After being together for a significant amount of time, and after living together, we quickly realized the things we loved about each other were the very things that caused contention. Here is a common "real life" example. Matt and I are living in California so we go to the beach pretty often. Whenever we go to the beach, I want to lay out, tan, and read a good book. Matt will lay down for about 5 min and then lose all patience. He wants to get up, run around in the water, explore the cliffs, and be active. You may be wondering; how do we compromise? 

To be honest, it takes time and a LOT of communication. After almost 3 years of marriage, Matt now realizes that I need some relaxation time in order to feel complete, and I realize that he needs me to play with him in order for him to feel complete. Whether its playing in the water, throwing a football, or running on the shore, I try my best to put aside my wants so he can feel happy too. Writing it out makes it sound really easy and pretty dumb, but for those of you reading this with a similar personality, you get what I mean right? Who knows, maybe I'm the only one with this kind of personality difference, but I highly doubt it. 

After the honesty and the communication, if things still do not improve...be more honest and talk about it more. And after and during this process, there are a few tips and tricks you can use. Get a dog, encourage hobbies and make friends! After Matt and I got a puppy, it was a great way to be active together. We will walk him together, take him to the park, the beach, and Matt LOVES playing with him. We also made some great friends and luckily, Matt has made a couple friends that also have high energy levels. 

Whenever he starts feeling cooped up, he has a few options other than relying on me. He can hang out with his friends, he can go play basketball at the gym, or he can play with the puppy. Obviously, I am still here to hang out with him anytime, but this allows him to get out his energy where I am not responsible, and he has options.

I hope this helps some of you. I know all couples are different, but I think it is pretty common to have this kind of energy level difference. Don’t be discouraged, instead, celebrate your differences and remember, you fell in love and were attracted to those rare qualities.