Emily & Logan: How to be a better communicator

It's been a while since I've blogged on a relationship topic. Today's topic is communication. If you communicate perfectly with your partner, skip right on through this post and pay attention to how cute Emily & Logan are. If you need a little work....give it a read. 

As some of you know, I graduated recently in social sciences. My major was focused on marriage and family relationships. I’m always trying to apply what I learned in school and I’m constantly looking for ways to learn more about relationships. It’s such a fun topic to study isn’t it? Whether you’re married, single, divorced or “it’s complicated,” it is always important to learn how to communicate with the opposite sex. 

Whenever communication came up in class, the professor would say something like this, “you don’t need to communicate more, you need to communicate better.” This is so true! We communicate all the time! Not just with our words, but with our body language, our tone, our eyes. I mean, how often do we really say what we mean with just words?

For example, your husband wants to go to the movies. He asks, “wanna go to the movies?” You say, “sure, I guess” while rolling your eyes. Did you really mean sure? Heck no! You don’t wanna go to the movies and instead of saying, “you know honey, I’m not really feeling a movie tonight,” you leave your man a code to decipher. 

Codes are dangerous

The reason codes are dangerous is because they set up a bunch of false expectations. You are expecting your partner to know how you feel based on the signals you gave him/her. If they fail to crack the code successfully, you are not only upset about the movie situation, you are disappointed at your partners failure to understand you. Meanwhile, your partner is confused as heck, and probably feel the needs to defend his/her case. Sounds like the start of a long argument. 

Try taking an easier route. Be honest from the get go. Don’t beat around the bush about your feelings. Say how you feel and focus on one thing at a time. Discuss the movie situation and only the movie situation. So many arguments morph into unresolved things from the past. When you are straight forward, this can be avoided and your day will continue on pleasantly. 

I hope everyone is having an awesome week! I had the best time with Emily and Logan in Carlsbad! Just a couple of adventurous beach babes. Have a great weekend guys! Remember, be honest and communicate better!